should've seen it coming..

hurmm.. sorry..

I shouldn't talk about this anymore.

but.. i can afford to avoid

can we actually give orders to our own feeling?

ok, if we do..

but..do the feelings actually follow you?

hurm...

dear diary..

I thought.. I'm done with it

I thought.. I'm strong enough now..

but..I guess I was wrong

not.. it's killing me from inside

no..not killing.

just.. hurting..

when I was facebooking, as usual..

I clicked d home button

guess what

there's a pic of 'him' on my homepage.

(jrg nmpk news about him, cuz I've blocked him. not that I hate, 

cuma sy bimbang diri sy xdpt nk handle ble nmpk apa2 berkaitan dy.  

I didn't mean to menyinggung perasaan sesiapa by blocking2 ni.. 

I'm just protecting myself from my own unwanted feelings

takut sy...hurm.. jadi mcm skrg..)

and I was like..

"..."

(speechless..)

I shudn't try to click on the

'view all ... comments'

and..I was thinking..

"nahh.. shud be no big deal. probably just chats between the siblings.."

so..clicked it.

and..

omg.. not like a thunder..

more like a.. snake bite to my heart..

they're talking about his marriage..

and.. a bit of clue on the girl.

tssk

hey..sudah2lah.. he's not into you anymore.. he got someone else..

I know..I am letting it go. but.. but..

but what? you're saying.. you still keep him somewhere in your heart?

I don't know...

what's d point.. just get over it okay

I am.......... I thought so..

hurm.. sabarlah...

ye..

u'll have ur own partner one day.. someone who deserves you

hmm.. am I still into him....? am I? am I not done with it?

am I still.. 'love' him?

hurm.. I don't think it's love. 

more to a memory..

which once occupy a very large part of your heart..

then.. what should I do? for God sake, I seriously want to let everything about him go..

I........ don't have any idea..

just be patient dear..

Huu..

ruined mood. again, I don't hate him. I hate myself even more now.

why it happens for me to feel such thing.

I SHOULD NOT BE BOTHERED!

and when these kind of things happen.. I usually end up whispering..

"hey Mr Right, where are you..? come save me.."