The Guy

hye..

here again. talking to myself.

hm.. lately.. well, actually.. since 4-5 months ago..

I..err... I..kinda...erm.. sort of... having.. a crush on this one guy..

(oh my, this is so embarrassing! ouuuhh)

the thing is.. how to let him know?

err...should I?

hm.. sometimes I think this is perhaps just a mind trick.

hm.. this guy.. well, i heard he liked(?) me..when I was in school days.

secret admirer la kununnye..hahaha..

(sungguh xsgka.. a dork n a shy person who rarely talk to boys other than those in her class)

but..maybe I don't pay such attention to rumors..

cuz I was keeping my heart to someone else at that time.

(n I also heard I was one of the girls yg femes kt skolah tu. femes di klgn senior? ironinye, i never knew it! haha.. i found it out just recently while chatting with my ex-schoolmate. aku : femes? haha.. lawak apekah?? diam2 cam ak pn bleh femes. yg ultimately mengherankan adelah..empunya badan xtahu menahu pon. seriusly.. spjg igtn ak la.. ak diam je dlu. byk ckp pn ngan bdk2 dorm or kelas.. or..some girls in my batch. ade sorg dua je yg usha.. tu pon batch ak.. tp ak..well.. xbrp nk accept la the idea.. cuz, as i mentioned b4.. there's someone else in my head. or heart? what ever.. )

xbley ckp la skola mana.. nnti obviously kantoi. heuheu..

erm.. me n this guy xdek history pon.

we talked (er.. actually..chatted) once. I knew that the fact he liked me from a fren. his fren actually. one or two years ago.. but, i don't take it that seriously cuz I thought "okay, thats a long gone story. perhaps he has a girlfriend now. too bad I know this late..hahha" 

ouh.. fyi, i knew that after being dumped. so.. it's ok lah nk pk cmtuh..kot.. hahaha

then, there's an event this year.. that.. errm.. well...(ahh.. this is so obvious, isn't it?)

ok fine! screw the secret! hahaha.. I'm so bad keeping this to myself. haha..

okay.. there's a reunion. many ex students gather again. he's there. sincerely, I do looked for him. nmpknye, still berharap kah? haha.. but we didn't talk. how can I talk? to a guy? that i never talked to? never have a thing to talk about? duhhh

after the event.. at home.. FB-ing.. some seniors added me. I approved. n one of them say hi to me, chatted a bit.. n told me.. that guy..The Guy I mean.. wants to get to know me.

oh my.. seriously?? or..perhaps he just saying that bcoz he knew The Guy was once a secret admirer of mine?

he kept on saying The Guy will say hello to me someday. 

and.. obviously, I was kinda waiting for it. hahha.. oh malunye saye >.<

not long after that.. The Guy did say Hello to me. 3am in the morning. He's on the chatlist. online. I was.. well.. couldn't sleep that night. I was so surprised. hahaha..

so we chatted. talked about studies..and what to do after grad.. n so on. 

n that's it. 

after that.. we haven't spoken until now. no development. *sigh*

haha.. well.. I did saw a girl.. on his wall.. posting something to him.. n saying hi n stuff..

maybe that's his gf? 

melepas lah sudah~

(dun laugh. i can guarantee u'll stalk the person you like. :P)

but it wasn't something so confirmed about.

yes they do seemed close.. but, no 'sayangs' or what ever lovers callings I can see.

but seeing 'awk' a bit of hurting lah jugak. haha.. i definitely can smell jealousy there.

so..what now? I can't help to stalk him. Is this love? wahaha.. so tricky =.=

soooo...cheesy.. hahaha..

love is another thing. this is just a 'like'. should I tell him? but..I'm not gonna say it.. too shy for that.

just.. how to let him know? or..should I really let him know?

what if he really hv a girl rite now? that would be very embarrassing.

so.. he won't know lah ni? then I won't stand a chance lah?

sad lah plk.

haha..

haha.. this crush thing is sick.

this kind of things? doksoh brangan lew..huhuks 

p/s: good to know my heart slowly opens.