I know I'm thin. Don't remind me.

I know I'm thin. Don't remind me. I hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it to d power of a trillion.

yeah..I am in a very pissed off mood rite now. don't talk to me. I feels like screaming and crying at the same time.

I'm trying hard to hold my anger.

know what? I seriousssssssssly pisssssssssed offfffffffff when somebody bumped into me.. and say..

"hey, you look thinner...!"

(often they say it in malay. I'm just into English mood)

dude, I went to PK (pusat kesihatan) this afternoon and the penimbang there showed that I gain 2-3kilos.

dude!!!!! I was really happy, until just now..some unalert person greet me such pissing off words.

(argghhh...really in a wild mood. just finished rewatching crows zero. feels like punching the walls and faces and destroying things in d room and scream and shout out loud.. my fists shivers, same goes to my legs. it has been a long time after the last taekwondo training I went...)

if only I can warn everyone.. not to greet me..ever like that..but..

ugh..know what? I can't.

and again..it pissed me off..

dude...I'm born with such genes...!! so you can't act like it's me who's not eating and make myself thin.

I ate a lot. most people know, thin people do eat a lot.

oh..I know.. You're not in my shoe. that's why you can be so insensitive 

it's the same when you greet some so called fat people..

"heyyy..you look fat!!"

duhhh.. don't it make em really pissed off???

I'm telling you here... don't greet whoever thin looking friends of yours with such "heyy..you look thinner now" words. we hate it. not that we don't try to gain weight (it's not about gaining weight actually..it's just about how people see and respond to you..)

sometimes, it does felt like some kind of pressure. tension.

really affects the confidence.

really makes me feel like disappearing from the world.

tolong laa..be alert sket.

p/s: ughh...tekanan perasaan tahu takkk???aku taw la aku kurus. xpyh la nk igtkan. it's like ckp kt 'org tak cerdik'.."heyy.. bodoh la kau skrg" atau..tegur org kulit gelap.."heyy..hitam r kau skrg!" (sorry 4 d rough words. kalo xnmpk n x jelas lg example tu, xtaw la nk ckp pe..) bab2 berat neh sensitif tahu? sbb mmg pyh nk ubah when it comes from d gene. tolong r alert sikit for such things. kena plk kt org yg tibe2 makin sensitif mcm sy. oh, not really tibe2. I'm not this sensitive sblm ney. ms skolah dulu..mtriks ke. i noticed, this sensitivity grows higher, bigger since my heart was broken by some heart-breaking person I really want to trust. It happens that i am afraid of being hurt again, that's why I'm becoming more sensitive...being too protective over myself... and again, I don't wish..neither do like this kind of sensitivity. don't blame me.it grows along with the experiences in life. God, do give me patience.. huuu...