Sunday, July 4, 2010

mental torture

do you ever feel....

that guilty keeps on haunting you..
when you do something bad..

and you couldn't stop yourself from regretting..
about what you have done..

and knowing.. you couldn't do anything in your power to fix it..
even begging for forgiveness will do no good..

you tried so hard to let it go..
but, your body couldn't even follow your thoughts..

as if, your body..your soul..they are divided into two..
which couldn't go along with each other..
not anymore now..

and all this keeps on repeating... living together with you..
you can only go on with it..
like.. your life is a greatest torture for you to bare..

your life.. as it is now.. is no more happier like it used to be...
you tried to distract yourself..
succeeded for a while,
but it'll still haunt you back..when such distractions gone..
(and you can't keep on distracting yourself..)

your thoughts... only fills with regrets... disgust.. and grief... and guilt..
they blamed you.. don't care what ever condition you are in..

still, you can do nothing about it..
cause you already tried hard..
and nothing seems to help..

and..

without stopping, all these keep on haunting you..
as long your eyes are open..

as long as you have breath to live


everyday

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